Bloodsong



Light is Defined by Darkness



We have been through this over and over again. We circle this path; resolve it… only to return again to where we started. It won’t end. I open my arms to you and you run from them. So again, I come to you.

We can’t do this...

And you haven’t given me a good enough reason why.

We’re family!

I am you. Where I emerged onto this world is irrevelent, you’re speaking of a technicality. Our souls make us something more than family, the name ‘brother’ has no bearing on what we are. It is merely a title given to classify what cannot be classified.

You’re a man...

I don’t have to be. My form is chosen as I wish. I can alter it, just as you can. I can look like anything you want. Male, female, neither… it matters not to me. Right now I’m a crossing of both in a way. I like this form, this body… it suits me. Yet you fault me for a technicality and punish me for something you’ve never experienced. What part of what you see isn’t what you’re looking for? Soft skin? Smooth curves? It’s all there. I am more than what you think I am, but you shut your eyes to that truth.

You’re not my type.

Are you sure? What type do you expect me not to be? Ah… is it because of my generosity? My friendly nature? The presence of light that seems to be within me? My darling brother, if you think this of me then you don’t know me at all after all this time. There is no light without darkness, for how would light be seen without the shadows to define and embrace it. I know the dark side better than even you who has been tainted to it for I was not swallowed within it. I was engulfed by it, hurt by it, and punished because it could not change me. You saw darkness from the inside out and thus your eyes became accustomed to seeing night. I could see both and so it’s secrets were not hidden from me. I know evil, I know pain and decay. I know malice and the deepest hatred this world could see. That is the darkness that defines my light. If you are looking only at the façade that I give to this world in the way of hope, then you aren’t looking at me. You are letting yourself be dazzled as they are. You should know better. I am you. I am more than that.

I am not in love with you.

Then you hate yourself. If you state this, it’s the biggest lie you could ever tell yourself and the saddest. I am your lost piece, the hole that you can’t define and forever attempt to fill with false dreams and promises. You can love and be loved and it will sedate you for a time, but nothing will love you more than I. Nothing will know you more than I. I am what has been stolen from you… you knew me long ago. You can feel it deep inside, a connection you can’t define yet you run from it. I am yours... I always was.

I am my own person!

Yes, you are. But you are also like a man who lost his arm and finds it attached to another being. It doesn’t stop you from being who you are. But it doesn’t stop the arm from belonging to you either.

We can’t...

We can. You just deny that truth.

You’re my brother. My family...

I am you. I am yours.

I don’t want to own you!

But you already do. You’ve owned me since I came into being, whether you want to or not is irrevelent. It is fact. You can’t disown your own soul.

..........

You’ve given me plenty of excuses, my love. But none are good enough to banish what I am to you. Will you continue to cast me away? That hole will never close if you do.

My problems cannot be solved by tumbling you!

How can you claim that when you’ve never done it?

How can you suggest it will, when I’ve never done it?

Ah... then we are in a quandary aren’t we? And there is only one way to find out which of us would be right.

All this just to get me to bed you?

Is that all you think it would be? Are you sure?

What else would it be?

There is only one way to answer that, my twin. Only one way I could.

..........

Think about it for now. I’ll be here. I’m always here… you can always find me, always call for me. I will come to you when you are prepared to know the answer...




Page created by: avarien@core.com
Changes last made on: June 6, 2003